pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
