wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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