btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
dude. I can hear the air.
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