ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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