I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
