He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
