It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
