Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
