I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
