Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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