i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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