it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
