i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
