You're my little dorito
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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