No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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