were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
How's work?
Spinning.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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