the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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