I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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