Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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