I can tuck mytits in my pants
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
