They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
