i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
