It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
