my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
