Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
