Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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