I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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