I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
