please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize