If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
