Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
