maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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