.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
