the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
