Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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