too bad you live with your parents still
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
