You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
