She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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