i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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