You're completely useless in the revolution.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
