Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
