So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
