the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
