Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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