Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
