i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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