We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
