So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
