he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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