Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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