I wanna bring you to show and tell
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
