out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
