He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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