he told me I talked like a deaf person
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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