We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
