I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
