My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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