So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize